


Playin' with Hearts

by the-canary (siruru)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety, Awkwardness, Body Modification, Body Worship, Break Up, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes Has PTSD, Bucky Barnes Recovering, Cheating, Denial of Feelings, Developing Relationship, Emotional Manipulation, F/M, Feelings Realization, Friendship, Hypnotism, Misunderstandings, Mutant Powers, Mutant Reader, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Post-Black Panther (2018), Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Pre-Relationship, Questioning, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Unresolved Emotional Tension, Unresolved Romantic Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-06
Updated: 2019-08-27
Packaged: 2020-02-27 09:55:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18736720
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/siruru/pseuds/the-canary
Summary: You didn’t hate that she had something you could only dream of, but there was always a feeling that there was something wrong.





	1. let’s bloom a flower to your desire.

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt: “I think I handled that very well.” + “I’ve never seen that much blood my whole life. If that’s what you mean by very well, I am very concerned.”.
> 
> this is for @wintersoldierswhore writing challenge. 
> 
> this what i get for watching that 2nd episode of persona, which this is heavily inspired by. this is a different sort of bucky that i’m writing about, but hopefully, you’ll enjoy him either way. there are also mentions of blood and toxic relationships as we move forward, so proceed with caution. 
> 
> Feedback is always welcomed and appreciated.

It smells like rust and you can’t help but wonder if anyone else notices.

_Plasma, water, salt, protein_.   Air that reminds you of the sea (or ocean, you aren’t too sure nowadays) you used to live close to when you were younger, before anything of what had happened destroyed your life.

Twelve pints of it that could easily be taken away from the human body. Stabbed, shot, and another handful of ways that all it could be removed from the body, though it is much easier for you.

In the medical ward, where it’s supposed to be clean and smell of antiseptic and bleach, you can’t help but think of all that when you’re in there when you see her.

You wonder if you’re being weird if it’s some strange after effect of your power but as she greets the whole teams and moves in closer to give Bucky a kiss. You can’t help but notice that she sends you a strange sort of smile, somewhere between glee and agony.

You can’t help but wonder how come anyone else can’t fucking see it.

* * *

Bucky, after so many years and after everything he has gone through, is a careful, cautious and a stubborn sort of man. He chooses his words wisely so that they mean something when he enters a topic of conversation. He makes sure to give everything look over twice to make sure he doesn’t miss anything.  Everything he does is at his pace, but he lacked control for so many years but there are things that even he can’t control.

Falling in love is one of them,  it comes quietly but with thunderous applause as he falls for the cute lab tech that works with Dr. Cho. She has bright eyes with a heart-shaped face with lips that are always titled in a smile. Maybe that’s what takes his breath away the most – that she can smile at him like he's the sun.

“How are you doing today, Mr. Barnes?”

She states every time she visits and she is there to talk about whatever comes to his mind.  She smiles and watches him go through the motions and talk about his day, the latest mission, the newest book he is reading – anything. She's there for him and for the first time in a long time, Bucky feels like a person.

He officially asks her out, after a lot of goading from Sam and Steve, within the second month of knowing her. Bucky isn’t sure why he throws caution to the wind this time around compared to all the other times. It’s just something that she brings out of him.  They go to all sorts of places and try an array of things that a younger Bucky could only dream of, and she’s always there with a smile.

In all his time with her, Bucky feels he is in a beautiful, sweet dream – that’s what love has to be, right?

“Barnes,  I think  you’re burning that kettle.”

A light but strong voice states, taking him out of his daydream. He comes to see a familiar face standing from across the countertop. You give him a brief nod before going about your own business in the kitchenette. The sudden itch of leaving the room flares up even more. It always does when you are around the former Winter Soldier.

“Thanks,” he murmurs before turning off the kettle and proceeding to make two cups of tea.  It was something that was Lin’s –short of Lindsey or Lindsay, Bucky wasn’t exactly sure– favorite things to do, just sit down and sip a cup in his room. But, the impending calmness is broken with the feeling of you behind him.

Now, Bucky isn’t quite sure why he feels so strange around you – a younger member of the Avengers that had joined thanks to Stark six months before he had to meet Lin. You were quiet and kept to yourself most of the time, who only really talked to Wanda, Stark, and Nat when the need arose. Maybe it was because of your personality or your natural power, but you kept everyone at arm’s length. Bucky stayed away due to his own personal choice because the smell you always seem to give off.

Blood and rotting flesh that always seemed to give him nightmares of things he didn’t want to remember anymore, of things he would always be trying to atone for. You were in no way connected to HYDRA, but the aftereffect of your powers was something he didn’t need that to be messing with his head. He didn't need another push back down on his road of recovery, so he stays away as much as possible.

It doesn’t help that you always seem to around the corner, watching him and testing his patience, especially whenever his love is around. A sweep across the room and you there at the edge, sitting and watching closely during movie night or during a mission. You never speak to him unless it’s needed like right now.  

You haunt him and frankly, it pissed him off and intrigued him at the same time. But like most of the time, he wasn’t going to be the one who made the first move.  You aren’t going to be either, as you grab your bowl –after a struggle with your own personal nightmares and insomnia– and head out of the room.

“Goodnight,” it’s all you say and Bucky is left  – confused and annoyed– alone before moving back into his sweet dream once more.  

He had all he needed in life without you trying to ruin it, even if inadvertently.

* * *

It happens the following morning after all your time watching the couple – the first time you see Lin without Bucky at her side. Yes, it had happened when you saw her in the medical ward after the mission, but this is something different. This is her without the illusion of happiness around her that she seemed to have with Bucky around her.

This is her talking crudely but softly on the phone as she waits near the elevators. You are getting ready to head to the gym to train with Natasha.  Her short hair is fluffier than usual and there are marking of hickeys underneath the collar of her shirt she has worn the day before. Her bag is laying on the floor as she waits and talks. You are sure that Bucky has already left for his morning run with Steve and Sam.

But, it’s the smell, that horrible smell of something rotting but fresh at the same time. It’s something sweet but salty that remind you of honey that was left with sour milk on a summer day.  It’s a smell that you are all too familiar with, but you are sure that no other human –unless they are extremely hurt– should smell that way.

And in that brief instant, you know that you are to get closer to her.

“Good morning,” you state with a smile and Lin freezes for just a second in her speech. She looks at you, wide and bright eyes, crackling around the corners as she returns the greeting.  

You take a quick glance down and stop, just at the same time that the elevator finally rings up. She picks up the bag and moves forward and you move across the room.  You try your hardest not to get weak knees at that moment because you are sure you have seen worst things through your life of running away and experimentation.

The sudden sensation of throwing up pushes up your chest even more at the sound of clinkbefore the elevator disappears. Your own nausea stopping you from ever seeing if there had been a change in Lin’s attitude or demeanor.

But as you run to the bathroom close to the gym and throw up the little breakfast you had eaten, you can’t help but think and worry .

_Why did she have so many bloody glass jars?_


	2. naive like a child.

In the days after the “jar incident”, you try to forget what you had seen… what you had seemed in the air that day, but it isn’t that easy.

You see it every time you pass the medical bay, every time you so much as glance as Barnes. You wonder how much he knows, how he can’t see a thing. You wonder how you anyone else can’t. How the Avengers don’t notice a novice medical tech carrying jars of hearts to? How can't they notice what in her bag as she moves from their Tower and back home and to wherever else Bucky takes her?

There is blood simmering below the surface of everything and it’s driving you insane.

You aren’t sure what to do and if Wanda hears you screaming at night (if she listens to your thoughts on pretty girls with blood-red bags) well she doesn’t say anything about it for now.

 

* * *

You see Lin two weeks after the first incident, but it isn’t at the Tower. You had been avoiding the medical bay at all costs. But you see her instead with another man in some fancy Italian coffee shop. She is smiling as she talks with her partner before taking a sip of whatever she is drinking.

You stand there, frozen and watching for a bit, hoping that your mind was playing tricks on you. You don't have another reason to doubt this stirring that wouldn’t leave you alone.

And then it happens… the smell of honey and burning flesh makes its way to your nose. You look up to see from your place across the street.

She’s kissing the man from across the table. With that, you turn around and walk the opposite direction of where the cafe is, of where the Tower is. You  just  needed to leave. You end up walking Central Park for hours without an end or meaning insight. You don’t start heading back until the sunsets and Wanda sends you message after message.

The whole time you can’t help but wonder what exactly Bucky really knows about his girlfriend and the type of person she seems to be.  

* * *

Bucky is quick to notice when the mutual avoidance ends. He sees her at the edge of his vision more often than not. He notices that she is more likely to linger now during team meetings. She even takes her training more seriously.

It was all too much sometimes and Bucky wasn’t exactly sure how to handle. He did what seemed best during the situation -- avoidance. He spent more time in the medical section or in his room. Lin, Steve, and Sam were  really  the only one who saw him at times, but even then there was a limit to it all.

> _Hey is everything alright, man?_

>  
> 
> _I’m here when you’re ready to talk, Bucky?_
> 
>  

> _Why exactly are you here, James?_

Bucky knew that Steve and Sam always had his back in their own ways, but Lin’s reaction is something else.  He knew that she was fiercely independent and liked her space, but this was her asking angrily what he was doing where she was . Thus, his own fears and anxieties blew up.

Bucky had thought she understood all that, but as she started avoiding him and ignoring his calls and texts . He wasn’t so sure about that.

* * *

After a month and a half of following and getting to know who exactly Lin is, you finally manage to catch Bucky once more in the empty kitchenette in the central room of the Avengers Tower  .  It’s been hell between missions and the fear throughout the city over men  being found  without their hearts, but there is only so much superheroes can do . It doesn’t help when Lin had messaged him only one thing in the past two weeks.

> _ Maybe, it’s best we only talk through the phone for now?_

Bucky doesn’t know where he went wrong and in all his questioning there are no answers. There's only you sitting in the countertop with a piece of cake and a cup of something dark. There is a glassy look in your eyes, but he can feel when you look at him.  He can feel the burn and guilty and hate of all those he had hurt and the smell of blood in the air makes him want to throw up and cry all at the same time.

Bucky Barnes doesn’t deserve redemption, it is something he can see falling from your lips. His body stiffens as your eyes meet his.  He grabs a cup, ready to get coffee and try to find something to watch because he knows there is going to be no sleep tonight.

You get up and take a step back, but what comes out of your mouth isn’t what he expects, “Do you know what Lin really does, Barnes?"

He turns around confused, but you are already gone with the smell of fear and poppies in the air stronger than when he had gotten there .

 


	3. want to be close.

It’s true that Wanda is the first to notice the little changes in your personality, but in your dreams as well. It’s not like she means to intrude. But, even with all the years of training, there isn’t a way that she can control her powers when it comes to your screams. She tries to calm down the dark recesses of your past captivity, though you don’t ever talk about it

However, in a few short months, your dreams went from trying to protect yourself from trying to protect someone else. You whimpered in the other room as you tried to stop Bucky’s heart from being taken from him. You fought with yourself and an unmasked person to stop the incident from happening. You woke up with a jolt and a pitiful whimper following soon afterward.

Wanda didn’t exactly understand what was going on since she knew you avoided James most of the time. But, that’s when the lingering and staying in the corner of the room whenever he near began. It caught Natasha’s attention as well, but they knew to wait – you would around in your own time to explain the change.

It’s three weeks of you following Bucky. He avoids you, even more, when you come into Wanda’s room with a newspaper at hand. Brown eyes look at you with a question.

“Have you seen this?” you asked with a slight tremor in your voice, as you hand her the paper. The headline JARS OF HEARTS in the front and Wanda knows what you are talking about. There really isn't anything the Avengers can do if there are no leads and nobody from the NYPD is calling them in.

“Yes, what about it?” she tries to ask as calmly as possible as she sees you playing with your hands.  The smell of distilled air and chlorine are becoming more of an annoyance to you, at least that’s what your little movements meant.

“What if I knew who that person was? What if they were in the Tower?”

* * *

Bucky isn’t one for confirmation nowadays. He prefers to take on life the easiest way possible and enjoy what is given to him, but he isn’t a fool either.  He knew that there was something wrong with how Lin was acting and how their relationship was going in general. Yet, he didn’t expect what he saw a gloomy day not that from the Tower – Lin kissing another man.

He won’t deny that it hurt like hell. He enjoyed his time with Lin when it was better, it wasn’t exactly love but it could be someday. However, that wasn’t what hurt the most as he noticed someone familiar watching as well.

**How long has she known?**

It is something that Bucky can’t help but think as he sees the occasion bane of his existence sitting in another open-air restaurant not too far from the scene of the crime. There are a hundred emotions and questions running through his head, though it does somewhat explain why she was paying more attention now.

_Did she pity him? Hate him?_ Maybe, she planned on throwing all this in his face when the moment presented itself. She was going to show him that a person (a murderer and killer like him) had no right at the little happiness he tried to claim in life.

No, he knew that was the fear and self-loathing in him speaking deep down.  She wouldn’t do something like that because from what he had seen (as Bucky had been paying more attention to her as well since she started spending more time in the room with the team), there had never been a bad bone in her body – but, she tended to worry and fret a lot over things.  

Bucky can’t help but turn back around and walk back to the Tower, thinking about what he should do now and how long she had been fretting over this.

> _Lin, I think  we need to talk. _

* * *

It’s supposed to be a quick mission. It was something to get you to better mingle and work with the rest of the Avengers that you don’t interact with. It would be good for team building is what Steve has stated but you’re on pins and needles over much larger things. 

You hadn’t caught the smell of rotting flesh in almost a week. You knew that Lin worked at least three to four days within the lab though.  You couldn’t help but wonder if she had gotten her latest victim or if she was preparing something even worse, especially when it came to Bucky. 

You were worrying about Barnes more and more recently. Though you were sure that he could take care of himself. He was a super soldier after all, but that didn’t ease your mind at all though. 

Love makes people do stupid things, was something that your handler had thrown over your head once after one of your first escape attempts. You tried hard not to remember the reason why nowadays.  But, the fear is still there (it never left) as you find yourself missing the smell of the sea and clear air that seemed to come with following Bucky around. 

Needless to say, you end up with more than one injury due to not your head completely in the mission. Sam ends up bandaging your hand as you head back. 

“So, what’s on your mind that you left yourself that open?” Sam asks with a smile, though you can tell that he is being serious by the tone of his voice. You don’t know if you should be truthful or if you should stay quiet to hide your embarrassment. 

“Well?” he pushes back, as you can frown just a little. 

“I am wondering how Barnes is doing,” you admit with an embarrassed chuckle, “I’m actually  really  worried.”

* * *

 “Are we even dating?"

It’s the first thing that Bucky says when he finally meets up with Lin in a little cafe shop near the Brooklyn Bridge. Lin is sitting there and the smile that she has been wearing falls in an instant as she leans back into her seat. He can’t help but wonder if she knew what this was about.

“Well, in some ways, yes,” Lin answers back with a shrug like she knows where this is going and has played this scene before, “Is there something wrong ?”

Bucky frowns but seems to not say anything as the smell of burning flesh and roses sets in.


	4. debachery in love.

There is a deep worry setting into the room when none of them can reach Bucky. Steve can’t help but notice that most worried is someone that usually doesn’t interact with his best friend at all. She’s pacing back and forth in the medical area. She's trying her hardest to find something that nobody might have noticed -- to see if the blood will sing to her.

“Has she been like this the entire time?” Steve asks as he glances at Wanda. Brown eyes meet his as she nods.

“She’s been keeping an eye on them this entire time,” Wanda remarks with a tight smile, “I’m sure it must have changed her outlook on him in some way.”

Steve nods, but before he can say anything else a scream rips through the medical room. The two Avengers turn to look at the sight. She’s standing closer to the door with a few drops of blood swirling in the air. Her eyes are wide and frightful, as she meets Steve’s.

“I know how she does it,” she remarks with a tremble in her voice, “We have to find Bucky.”

* * *

Bucky has lived and fought long enough to know when something is trying to enter his mind. It’s not like Wanda’s power that tends to slip from time to time. The silver of static in the corner of his mind is directly focused on him when his eyes meet Lin’s. She gives him a loving smile, as Bucky moves forward in the love seat he is sitting on.

The cafe seems to darken, so it seems like it's the two of them.  Something that should  be considered  romantic is  slowly  angering him, as Lin speaks: “You know, I almost didn’t get away with this.”

“What do you mean?” he lets out tensely, as Lin frowns. Her powers or whatever are clearly not working on the man as they did with most of her other cornered prey.  Bucky instead feels something slither in the dark and encircle itself around his wrists. 

He looks at her. Lin can’t stop her grin from growing even bigger: “That gal, that almost Avenger kept trying to tell you. She followed me and learned the truth, but you could never talk to each other. Now, here you are.”

“Lindsey,” Bucky chokes out in anger over being a fool and over how stupid he was. However, Lin just clicks her tongue and grabs something from her bag.

“None of that now, love,” she remarks with a delirious giggle as her eyes start glowing once more, “Right now, I want to see how much a super-soldier can stand.”

_BAM!_

There’s a splintering of wood followed by fast-moving steps. Blue eyes look over, but Lin doesn’t have time to see who it is. A flash of red shoots straight into her and pushes her into the other end of the room and through the wall.

* * *

There’s a sickening thump against the floor as you finally reach where Lin has landed. You were sure Bucky was going to be alright with Steve and the rest of the Avengers. _This_ \-- this was your fight above all else because you have seen what she has done and had the potential to do. It was something you had to stop, it had to be you above all else.

But, also in some sick way, you wanted to understand why she was doing all this in the first place. The question leaves your mouth without you thinking about it, as you hear her scoff as she starts getting up.

“Humans have so many limits,” she sneers at you, “I want to be free and eternal, is that so wrong?"

“When you’re killing other people,” you start off -blood dripping down your forearms- as Lin rolls her eyes, “It sort of does, ya know.”

Lin’s eyes glow as a glimmering vortex starts to swirl around her. It looks like you were right about a lot of things when you were looking up her past, but that is a story for another time. You look at the bright, full moon before you heard the anger seeping from her voice.

“Do you really think there’s any value in the act of living?” she asks. Your eyes met hers and you know exactly what she means. You know exactly how she got to be the person she is today and how in some ways you could have ended like her once.

“I do,” you smile the best you can, though you are completely sure of the answer. It's buried in your heart and something you’ll probably struggle with for the rest of your days.

_Sometimes._ _It depends on a case by case basis,_ is what you want to say but instead flick your wrist before she even has a chance of moving. Her eyes widen as she takes a shaky step towards you. There’s a glint in her eyes that you know too well, but you don’t say anything it.

You hold in your breath as she mouths a few words before she crumples before you.  You let out an uneasy breathe before falling onto the wooden floor as you stare at the red seeping out of your wounds. The lightheadedness starts to set in.  You can tell Sam is getting closer by the unique pounding of his heart -- something you had stopped trying to ignore as of recently.

**“ I think  I handled that very well,** ” you let out with a light laugh. You avoided looking at the body and the fact that you could do that to anyone just as quickly. Sam stands above you.

**“I’ve never seen that much blood my whole life,** ” he remarks, thinking back to how much of your own blood you had wasted to look for Bucky -- how you were still awake you didn’t know, **“If that’s what you mean by very well, I am very concerned.**

You shake your head and keep laughing as the darkness starts to seep into the corners of your sight. Brown eyes meet yours as you look up at him, “Is Bucky okay?

“Yeah, yeah,” Sam answers back, though clearly not bringing up that you are calling the man _Bucky_ now, “Strapped to a chair, but completely in one piece.”

“Good, that’s good,” is all you can say as you look at Sam and then back at the moon.

The smell of rotten honey and dying flowers doesn’t linger anymore. You let out a deep sigh as ocean and plasma fill your lungs once more, though it might be a little weaker than before. You’ve used so much of your own that is hardly there anymore, but it’s enough for now.

You take a deep, shuddering breath. You swear you can hear your name being called out, all you do is fall back onto the wooden flooring.

You had done one good deed with your life and with this sick and strange but lovely power that rushed through your veins. As you fall into complete darkness, you hold onto the fragile hope that maybe Bucky Barnes wouldn’t hate you so much anymore.


	5. where we go from here.

You don’t wake up from your injuries and blood loss right away. 

It takes four days to stabilize you, another two to find and create the appropriate blood type with you hemorrhaging or going into cardiac arrest. Your powers gave the rarest blood type of all and that was just one of the simple complications of it all. Whoever had created you have made sure you were one of a kind. 

It takes another ten for you to finally breathe on your own, to stop looking as pale and sickly as Steve used to when they were younger, Bucky can’t help but notice.  

However, you keep sleeping without a care in the world and nobody knows why. 

“She used all her powers in that one attack,” Wanda remarks with her hands glowing over your body,” It’s must-have drained her completely. She just needs to rest.” 

It confirms his suspicious on how truly awful and sadistic Lin was when they all realize what she did to the men she captured and for how long she tortured their loved ones afterward.  A powerful psychic with parchment for blood play that kept their hearts in glass jars as her reward. 

To this day, Bucky isn’t sure how he fell in love with such a person, or maybe he never really did. He doesn’t think about it much as he goes on with life from missions to training and then without a doubt, he’s by your side when the late-night rolls around. 

He needs to be there. Bucky needs to be by your side and make sure that you don’t leave the team (leave him) without answering why you were so driven towards this -- why you need to protect him of all people? 

But, he doesn’t get those answers and soon two months since the incident passes him by. 

* * *

 

It’s two and a half months when it finally happens. Wanda is the first one to notice when she hears the whisper of her name in the corner of her mind. Nat is the second one to figure it out as she hears a gasp and tumbling feet down the medical hallway as she is coming back from her training session. 

F.R.I.D.A.Y lights up and checks your vitals as you look around. The entire area smells like the sea breeze and something else, and you can’t hope, as everything starts to settle down once more, that Bucky came out of everything okay. 

Later on, when you are eating with the two women, Nat will laugh at Bucky missing out on you finally waking up and how your eyes lit up at the mention of his name.

* * *

 

_ “She’s awake.” _

It’s one of the first things Sam tells him once their mission is over and they are on the jet back to New York. His breathe stop, though he wants to curse for not being there. He should be there.

“Is she alright?” is the first thing Bucky asks, thinking about the body he had seen trapped in white for the past couple of months. He didn’t know her any other way, had never tried to. 

Bucky had a lot to make up for and a lot of things he wanted to clear the air about, but for now, he truly wanted to get to know the person you were.

* * *

 

It isn’t that easy though as the following and being around Bucky, things you had done when Lin was around, were no longer happening. Bucky only saw you out of the corner of his eye before you turned around and walked out of the room. Most of your recovery time was spent with Wanda or in your room and as you slowly started to get used to your powers and state of your body -- you were either with her or training with Nat. 

He’s dejected that they’re back to step one, but Bucky knows that this is partially his fault as well for never giving her the time of day. However, he is just as stubborn as Steve when it comes to certain things, though Bucky can’t help but wonder if it was this bad for you.

Or if it was this wonderful when he finally caught you in the kitchen area in the middle of the night with a book at hand. You stop and look up, like a scared deer, as he comes to sit across from you.

“Um...hi,” he manages to say as blue eyes meet yours. You take a deep breath and your shoulders drop in relief, “How are you? Better?” 

Your eyes soften as you nod before Bucky moves forward with asking what you are reading. The two of you end up chatting until the sun starts rising over New York. 

* * *

 

It’s not easy at first, you still tend to run away when Bucky enters the room. It takes him some time to understand that you were under the impression that he hated you. It hurts now that you could’ve thought that, but he could see why you thought that. 

“I was a coward,” Bucky remarks after you were done explaining, “”aybe I was unjustly putting all my fears on you...just cause…” 

“ _My powers,_ ” you answer back with a smile, “It’s okay, Bucky. Though it’s good to know that you’re just a big teddy bear aside from all the brooding.”

Bucky can hear Sam laughing in the back, as you keep smiling. He’s really starting to enjoy seeing it on your face, especially when he’s the cause of it. 

* * *

 

It’s ten months after the incident and it’s a dizzying notion to think that Bucky Barnes is now one of the closest and dearest people to you. He’s there whenever he can be from team movie night to late-night talks to your first official Avengers mission and during the bad times as well. When the stench and feel of your own blood become too when you smell it everywhere and hear Lin in the back of your head. 

_ “You and I are cut from the same cloth,” Lin whispers in the middle of the night. The smell of honey and burning never far behind, “One day, it’s bound to happen to you as well.”  _

It’s isn’t one of those days though, as Bucky has promised to take you to a certain place after a certain conversation had come up. You aren’t sure where you are going, but you sure it might be somewhere nice since you’ve seen nothing but the oceanside through the Belt Pkwy. Bucky was quiet on the driver’s side since you had left the Avengers Tower. 

“Where exactly are we going?” you can’t help but ask.   

“Coney Island,” he remarks with a fond smile, “You said you’ve never seen the ocean before. It’s got the best view, in my opinion.” 

“But--”

“Don’t worry,” Bucky shakes his head, “I got it all figured all out. You just gotta relax.” 

You’re surprised, but don’t say anything as you go back to looking at the side of the car. Bucky chuckles and that familiar smell fills your lungs -- of salt and plasma with just a strike of sea breeze. You sink into the car’s --probably Tony’s-- seating, taking in the midday sun and everything that comes with it instead of pushing the world and your abilities away.

Your fingers twitch as your eyes start to drop. For now, you’ll wrestle with your emotions, as you try your hardest not to say that you love all this because it reminds you of him the most -- that’s it’s the thing that has pushed you since the very beginning. 

However, for now, you are simply delighted to be his friend. The problems that come with your heart can be saved for another time and conversation, right now you were extremely happy to be where you were right now. 

And in all honesty, Bucky was too. 


End file.
